The Dancings!

This is an actual, word for word, misspellings and all excerpt from Braelin's Journal. I'm not going to feel bad about putting it on my blog because she left it on the kitchen table.....what does she expect? I'm going to read it, and when I think it's this hilarious and telling into the life of my nine year old, I'm going to share it as well. You can think I'm a terrible parent, I really don't care. :)

Braelin turned nine on August 28, 2010. We had invited six of her friends to a "loosely planned" birthday party (read: cheap) and as of Friday night hadn’t heard anything from her two friends from school, no big surprise there. I had room in my car for four girls with seat belts, assuming at least one of them wouldn’t be able to come. So, Braelin tells me that her friend from school had told her that she wanted to come, but that we needed to go and get her. Of course, I have no idea who this child is or where she lives. Braelin assures me she knows where she lives.
So, we set out on our adventure with three girls from church, Braelin, myself and Brianna, Braelin’s aunt. Braelin is insistent upon “swinging by” and picking up Raven, so she directs me to the neighborhood. We get to the street she lives on, and Braelin says, “She lives three houses, two or three houses down from Chrislyn”. Oh, great! Where does Chrislyn live??!! So, the knocking begins. I felt like a madwoman. “Hi, I’m here to take your kid…..this is totally legit.” After the THIRD house we knocked on, we found Raven’s. Her mom said that Raven was at Chrislyn’s house. So, we go down to the house and here comes the two girls. What follows can only be described as a ruckus. Running in and out of houses, with phones that don’t work and dads that don’t speak English, and little girls running up and down the street trying to put their shoes on as they go. I just sat there thinking, “This is going to be a really, really bad idea.”
I couldn't have been more wrong.
Well, we got everyone in the car. Braelin and Brianna had to share a seat/seatbelt so that everyone I wasn’t related to had their own. The minivan was abuzz with chitter chatter.

We got to the downtown YMCA with a few minutes to spare before the Mommy and Me Zumba class began.
Zumba with six tweenies is just about as much fun as anyone can ever have. They were hilarious, and just grinning from ear to ear. It was the most fun I think I have EVER had working out! And let me just say that at this point, I was really glad we brought Raven, because she was putting it ALL out there. I mean, ALL. OF. IT. And I loved it!

After Zumba, we walked across the street downtown and took an elevator down into the elusive tunnels of Downtown Dallas. Because it was the weekend, most of the tunnels were closed, but it was still cool to think we were under all of those big buildings.

We finished off our Downtown date at House of Blues. This is where things really started to get interesting. I can’t even explain it, but the pictures that follow will show you what my words could never say. Happy Birthday, my beautiful Braelin! Thank you for letting me come on this incredible adventure with you! you!!!

I was perusing Facebook today and I found a statement in that little box underneath one of my friends' pictures. The quote describes exactly how I feel these days, and I love, love, LOVE that I found it!! As I am quickly approaching my 37th birthday, which means that I am even more rapidly approaching 40 (really?), I am starting to look at life differently. Call it a mid-life crisis if you want to, but I think you just get really reflective at this age, and you start wondering about all kinds of "stuff".....everyone reacts differently to this wondering, and the quote pretty much sums up how I feel at this point in my life:

"Life is short.....Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile."

Life is short......That is for sure!! I mean, wasn't I just in high school? Wasn't I just home from a mission? Didn't I just get married? Seriously???? Where does the time go? It is flying, and I can't keep up, and I still feel 23, and then I look at myself naked and I realize that is NOT the case, because, WOW!!! Anyway, life is very short, and it goes by waaaaaaaay too fast!

Break the rules....it's okay to do this as long as you don't make a habit of it. I have been thinking about all these rules I have running through my head....make sure you do this, don't do this, don't even THINK about doing that!!!! And there is all this guilt that I don't need, and unhappiness that I don't need to feel, and things I could be doing instead of worrying about all the things I should be doing that I'm not, and all the things I shouldn't be doing that I am. Every once in awhile, it's nice to just put all that aside and be okay with who you are and what you need. But like I said....don't make a habit of it!!!

Forgive quickly.....I like to think of myself as someone who forgives really quickly. Problem with me is that sometimes I forget to "forget". I hope that the next half of my life I find myself moving on. That I can forget the things that others have done that have hurt me, and I can forget the things that I have done to hurt myself. I also hope that the stupid things I have done haven't done irreparable harm, and that those I have hurt can forgive me quickly and move forward in their lives....whether I am still a part of it or not. I am learning a lot these days about forgiveness, and I am grateful for these lessons.

Kiss slowly.....that's right!! Is there anything better than "that" kiss? Bradley has always had this special way of kissing me, and it still makes me weak in the knees, even fourteen years after the first time! The first time I kissed him, I knew I was going to be in trouble!!! I also knew I wouldn't be okay just kissing him once. It's amazing, and it's sooooo great that my stomach still does unpredictable flip flops when he kisses me like that even though the rest of our relationship is relatively void of spontaneity. I mean, we have three kids, and we're old. But those slow kisses will NEVER be old. NEVER. EVER. NEVER.

Love truly.....pretty simple concept, right? But not always easy to follow through. I have loved loads of people in my life, but how many have I loved TRULY? To me that means that I am happy for them no matter what, that there is no malice, no jealousy, only happiness toward them and all that they are. I have loved a couple of people truly, and they are all part of my family with a couple of friends thrown in for good measure. I am so blessed to have these people in my life. Some of them have been easy to love. Other's harder to love, but I think that loving someone truly comes from going through challenges and coming out the other side better people.

Laugh uncontrollably....this is my favorite thing in the WORLD to do. I love to laugh. I love to tell stories that make other people laugh. I love watching my children laugh. I was born of an extremely witty man, who has taught each of his children well. We all have a sense of humor that is wicked, witty and downright dirty sometimes, but it gets us through all of our "stuff". I can laugh about anything, and I'm so glad I have this coping mechanism. My favorite thing is to laugh so hard that tears are running down my face, no sound is coming out of my mouth, and my stomach muscles feel like I've just done one hundred sit ups. That's when I KNOW something was super funny!!!

Never regret anything that made you smile.....Self explanatory. And I 100% agree.

I also like the quote, "Life is short. Get the shoes." Also self-explanatory. And I also 100% agree.

I received one of those phone calls this morning that you hope you never receive. My beautiful sister was on the other end of the phone, and could hardly choke out the words. She told me something really horrible had happened. All of a sudden, a dozen scenarios went through my mind, and my body went numb. She told me that her best friend, Taylia Olsen, had died that morning. You see, Taylia lived in Michigan and was in the same ward as Sara. They were best friends. And by best friends, I mean that they did everything together. They even took turns cooking dinner for each other's families. As a working mother, at the time I didn't quite understand the relationship, and thought it was odd to be that close to someone. Now I am at home, and I totally get it. I understand the need to be close to someone as a mom. Someone that gets what you are going through, and sees you for who you are as a woman, not just a carpool driving, cooking, cleaning and putting-out-the hottest-fires-mommy. So, Taylia was Sara's someone. And now she is gone.
Taylia moved to China with her sweet family awhile back. Sara had been on skype with her many times, and they still communicated frequently. She was doing her daughters hair, and collapsed and passed away. Just like that. Bradley and I are both friends with her on Facebook, so we went to her page. An hour or so before she passed away she had been on Facebook playing Farmville. I said to Bradley, "If she had known she had an hour or so left, do you think she would've been on Farmville?" I began to cry and knew I had to blog. If I only had an hour or so left in my life, what would I do?
I would tell the people in my life what they mean to me. So, I am going to do that right now.
Bradley,
With everything that we have gone through in the last twelve years, you must know that you mean everything to me. Highs and lows, ups and downs, you are my constant. You have always wanted to take care of me, and sometimes I haven't let you, and for that I am sorry. I'm a stubborn girl, but this stubborn girl will love you forever, and for always, and no matter what.
Braelin,
My beauty. You and I are too much alike for words. I can feel your moods by whether or not you've eaten or slept enough. You are so precious, and have such a tender heart. I am blown away by your ability to love others so freely. I am so grateful for all that you teach me each day, and for your sweet hugs and kisses. They build me up, and I know that my Heavenly Father loves me every time I look at you and your sweet smile.
Devrie,
Devrie-Doo. My fiesty angel. You make me laugh so hard. I could look in your big, amazing brown eyes forever and just wonder how we got so lucky to have you. You are so smart, and I'm a little scared that you are already smarter than I am! When you purse your lips to kiss me, I feel so lucky to get that smushy kiss. I love our time together each day, even though it might not seem like it all the time. I feel very blessed to spend my days with you.
Aislen,
My baby girl. What a blessing you have been to me. I love spending time nursing you. Just you and me. It is so tender when you rub your sweet soft hand on mine, something you do every time you eat. You are spoiled because you are my last and I don't want to miss a thing....I missed a lot with your sisters, and I will pick you up every time you cry. You have the greatest dimples, and when you light up each morning, it warms every part of me. I love you, my little stinker monkey.
Mom,
I love you. What more can I say to someone who has been everything to me? I am so grateful that you are my confidant, and that you listen to me, even when I'm being ridiculous. Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally. You are amazing.
Daddy,
I have always tried to make you proud of me. Lately, I don't feel like I've done a very good job of that. Nevertheless, I hope you are proud of me, and I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I look up to you. I love you.
Matt,
My little big brother. So proud of you and your accomplishments. You are a great husband and dad, and those two things are the most important. I love you and Andi and your boys very much, and wish I could see you more.
Sara,
My sweet sister. I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing how much you mean to me. You are my go-to gal. I have never laughed harder. You get me. And I see you, and how wonderful you are. Not to mention the fact that you are just absolutely beautiful. I am so proud to call you my sister. I love you. I love being Aunt Lo-Lo to your amazing girls, and I hope George and your family know how much I love them.
Evan,
O-Evan. The most loyal of the bunch. And sooooo stinking hilarious! I had so much fun just talking to you and reconnecting when you came out here to help me paint my kitchen. Every time I walk in here, I think of you, and your willingness to come all the way down here and help out your nearly non-existent big sister. I love you very much. I want the best for you always, and I believe in you. I hope that you know that.
Ian,
I will never forget the time we were in Baton Rouge and I was a complete basket case, and you gave me a blessing. What a man you have turned out to be. And how awesome it was to share that experience with you. My little brother is a spiritual giant. I am so thankful for you in my life. I love living vicariously through your awesome experiences, and I am so looking forward to your bright future. I love you so much.
Mom and Dad Dance,
Thank you for treating me like your daughter. Thank you for loving me despite all my weaknesses. And thank you for raising such an amazing son. No, he isn't perfect, but he loves me and my girls more than anything. And when it comes down to it, that's all that matters, huh? I love you both more than you could ever know.
Sabrina, Eric, Julia, Quinn, Brianna, et al,
Thanks for putting up with me and all my crazy antics. I know that I have no filter, and sort of busted in on your family and talked about loads of things I shouldn't. Thanks for loving me anyway. I have so enjoyed all the times we have been together as a family. I love seeing you all and talking and laughing. It's just the best. What a great family I married into.

All my extended family....I love you as well. I am so grateful that I believe what I believe. And I do believe that we will all be together forever someday, if that is what we want. I am thankful that I am surrounded by people that I WANT to be with forever. That makes the journey there much more enjoyable, and the destination that much more exciting.

So, Taylia, I know that Farmville wasn't what you would've been doing had you known you were in your last hour. I am taking the chance to write down my feelings, and I'm sure they would've been very similar to what you would've said had you known Heavenly Father was taking you back today. Know that in the wake of this very, very sad day, you have taught me a very valuable lesson. I cannot procrastinate, I need to say what needs to be said, I need to do what needs to be done, and I need to love more than I have been.

We never know when our last hour is up, and I want to take advantage of every minute I have.

We had a baby girl. We named her Aislen. It isn't pronounced Ass-len. It's Ace-lin. Like Ace In The Hole. Or Ace of Base. She's a pistol. She was born real fast, and we are real glad we didn't turn around to get the camera because she would've been born in the car without an epidural.

The girls were flowers for Halloween. I made their outfits. I had officially lost my mind at that point.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at home just the five of us. It was an event, but I think it was more difficult to get everyone outside to the gazebo for a semi-family picture. (Bradley took it, so he wasn't in it.)

We celebrated Devrie's 3rd Birthday just last week. We are loser's and didn't take any pictures of that, but this is what she looks like today:

So, now I am pretty much caught up! With the Blog, anyway. The rest of my life is a nightmare for even the strongest of procrastinators! But, at least my BLOG is updated. That's how you get into heaven, right?????