The Dancings!: May 2009

Things That Make You Go HMMMMMM.....

So, the last couple of weeks have been fairly uneventful, but it seems that during times of blah, some pretty interesting things can happen.

Case in point: I changed OBGYN's with this pregnancy because I didn't want to have to travel clear to Plano for the 5,000 doctor's appts. that inevitably come with having a baby. Needless to say, this pregnancy has been VERY different from the other two, despite the fact that I'm convinced we're having another girl. I have not felt well, and the migraine headaches had gotten out of control. My new doctor prescribed Vicodin for the pain, and I will tell you that the Vicodin laughed wickedly all the way down to my stomach, where it spread into my bloodstream and did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help the pain in my head. I almost gave myself a lobotomy. So, I called the nurse to talk to her about my dilemma. I do not know nurse Jenny, I had never met her. I called her very early that morning and left her a message. She returned my call at 4pm, and this is how the conversation went:

Me: "I'm am still in so much pain, and the Vicodin isn't helping at all."

Her: "I TOLD YOU THAT YOU NEEDED TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. SUMAKIA, THE NEUROLOGIST!"

Me: "Ummmm, I don't recall having that conversation."

Her: (Getting more impatient) "YES, WE CANNOT HELP YOU WITH YOUR MIGRAINES, YOU NEED TO SEE HIM. WHY HAVEN'T WE SEEN YOU IN APRIL?"

Me: (Getting more nervous) "Ummmm, my next appointment is for May 13."

Her: (frantically flipping through papers) "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO SEE THE PERINATOLOGIST BEFORE YOUR 12TH WEEK. YOU ARE NOW 14 WEEKS. DID YOU SEE HIM YET? DID YOU? DID. YOU?????

Me: (Completely freaked out) "Ummmmm, no, to be totally honest, I was just trying not to throw up at my last appointment, I don't remember anything except for that."

Her: (heavy sigh while flipping through papers) Dramatic Pause. "Oh, wait, you know what? I am confusing you with another patient we have who also suffers from migraines and who is also ADVANCED AGE."

Me: "________________?" (What the hell do you say after that?)

I'm not even going to tell you what I wanted to say to her after she said that to me. I should've just hung up, instead I followed all the orders she barked out, and went and saw my OB AND the Neurologist the next day, just in case I DIED in my sleep from being so freakin' old! It was amazing to me that at the doctor I could actually pee IN THE CUP (no drippies) ALL BY MYSELF, after having driven myself to the doctor's office without causing any vehicular accidents along the way. I didn't even need my walker, nor did I need to park super close and take advantage of the Handicapped sticker permanently adhered to my license plate. I didn't ask for the senior discount at lunch, or at Ross while I waited for my prescriptions to be filled at the Kroger. I was pretty proud of my aging self. Stupid lady....

So, onto the second half of that day. I am at home laying on the bed with a pounding migraine. The meds still haven't kicked in from the neurologist, but I am hopeful. These days, we throw Braelin and Devrie in the shower together. They can't drown in there, and it keeps the floor a lot drier, since they have this strong desire to see how much water they can actually splash OUT of the tub. I was laying there in all my pathetic glory, and Bradley was in and out of the bathroom playing referee. Suddenly, there was a ruckus, followed by Braelin crying, then Devrie screaming (she can communicate with the dolphins, I swear). Bradley entered the bathroom immediately (the scream insists that you do this so you can stop the noise) and opened the shower door. The conversation went like this:

Bradley: "What is the problem?"

Braelin: "Devrie stuck her finger in my bum, and it hurt REAL BAD!"

Evidently, she had bent over to pick up a toy, and Devrie, being at BUM level saw the opportunity and took it. The scream came from Braelin hitting her over the head with whatever it was she had picked up.